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Notes: 3 / 1 year ago
Who is to blame for the recent decline in the University of Georgia’s Athletic Endeavors?
Tripp Chandler.
Now, hear us out on this one, because we certainly have reasoning behind this. It is not simply an effort to draw out a random scapegoat. Our theory lies in the following beliefs:
That the 2007-2008 academic season represented one of the greatest years for the Classic City Canines, concluding the most successful four year period for all of the University’s major sports.
That the football team, as the flagship program, concluded a miraculous run with a trip to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl wherein they thoroughly destroyed an undermatched Hawaii team and made a case that the system got it wrong.
That the spring season saw the Diamond Dawgs completely fall apart at the Collegiate World Series to the bizzaro bulldogs and that these same Diamond Dawgs were in NOLA for the game. (At least one Bro can attest to this as he sat directly behind the entire team at the game).
That New Orleans surely has voodoo witchcraft and shadiness in which curses may be leveled on others.
And that Tripp Chandler was on the 2007 Sugar Bowl Team.
Our theory thus follows that, while in New Orleans, Tripp Chandler caused a curse to be laid upon the Bulldawg Nation, the results of which can only be corrected by the return of a true Uga to the sidelines.
Our belief is that the turmoil in the Classic City is due to the lack of an Uga. In the summer of 2008, shortly after the Diamond Dawgs were defeated, Uga VI went up to that air conditioned hut in the sky. He was a damn good dog. Uga VII took the reigns the next fall, but he never felt like a true dawg. Don’t get us wrong, we loved VII, but he spent his time sleeping in his dawghouse rather than being the pugnacious defender of Sanford his fathers before him had been. The Seiler family told us he was still training for the job, but he died 18 months into office without a chance to make his mark.
Since his early death things have gone from bad to worse. The Gymdogs had their worst season since before Suzanne Younclan arrived, losing to Auburn for the first time ever and were denied the chance to even DEFEND their 5 time national reign. The Diamond Dawgs had their worst season ever, and even a flood in Nashville couldn’t help them. The football team, under the direction of the Ginger Ninja fell to 8-5, the worst in Mark Richt’s tenure. Then Damon happened. Along with a slew of arrests of football players being drunk and stupid. And then AJ. Marking officially the worst off-season ever.
So we say here and now. Get us a new Uga. Make sure he’s right for the job. Pugnacious. Hearty. A true dawg. One that Larry and Loran would be proud of. And get him here quick. He’s our only hope.
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