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1 year ago
This Post is Solely for the benefit of Myron
Crunk Ain’t Dead. Neither are we.
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Notes: 3 / 1 year ago
Who is to blame for the recent decline in the University of Georgia’s Athletic Endeavors?
Tripp Chandler.
Now, hear us out on this one, because we certainly have reasoning behind this. It is not simply an effort to draw out a random scapegoat. Our theory lies in the following beliefs:
That the 2007-2008 academic season represented one of the greatest years for the Classic City Canines, concluding the most successful four year period for all of the University’s major sports.
That the football team, as the flagship program, concluded a miraculous run with a trip to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl wherein they thoroughly destroyed an undermatched Hawaii team and made a case that the system got it wrong.
That the spring season saw the Diamond Dawgs completely fall apart at the Collegiate World Series to the bizzaro bulldogs and that these same Diamond Dawgs were in NOLA for the game. (At least one Bro can attest to this as he sat directly behind the entire team at the game).
That New Orleans surely has voodoo witchcraft and shadiness in which curses may be leveled on others.
And that Tripp Chandler was on the 2007 Sugar Bowl Team.
Our theory thus follows that, while in New Orleans, Tripp Chandler caused a curse to be laid upon the Bulldawg Nation, the results of which can only be corrected by the return of a true Uga to the sidelines.
Our belief is that the turmoil in the Classic City is due to the lack of an Uga. In the summer of 2008, shortly after the Diamond Dawgs were defeated, Uga VI went up to that air conditioned hut in the sky. He was a damn good dog. Uga VII took the reigns the next fall, but he never felt like a true dawg. Don’t get us wrong, we loved VII, but he spent his time sleeping in his dawghouse rather than being the pugnacious defender of Sanford his fathers before him had been. The Seiler family told us he was still training for the job, but he died 18 months into office without a chance to make his mark.
Since his early death things have gone from bad to worse. The Gymdogs had their worst season since before Suzanne Younclan arrived, losing to Auburn for the first time ever and were denied the chance to even DEFEND their 5 time national reign. The Diamond Dawgs had their worst season ever, and even a flood in Nashville couldn’t help them. The football team, under the direction of the Ginger Ninja fell to 8-5, the worst in Mark Richt’s tenure. Then Damon happened. Along with a slew of arrests of football players being drunk and stupid. And then AJ. Marking officially the worst off-season ever.
So we say here and now. Get us a new Uga. Make sure he’s right for the job. Pugnacious. Hearty. A true dawg. One that Larry and Loran would be proud of. And get him here quick. He’s our only hope.
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1 year ago"You live in Athens, one of the most beautiful small cities in America. Or, if you don’t live here, hopefully you at least get to come here a lot."-
Reason #35 to quit bitching about Georgia Football. At the end of the day, everyone else has to go Fayetteville, or Starkville, or the Cesspool of the South (“South” here being a loose term to describe a geographic region and not the cultural south, of which Florida is not)
GATA
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1 year ago
CSB Reviews the movie “KickAss”
It sucked.
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Notes: 2 / 1 year ago
CSB’s 2010 UGA Picks of Doom
Three short weeks from today the Classic City Canines will be getting set to open the 2010 campaign. Similarly, we here are Cool Story Bros! will be starting 4 long months of high blood pressure, nail-biting, and generally extreme mood swings as we take this stuff way too seriously.
So what better way to kick off the season than by presenting you with our wildly inappropriate predictions which are sure to mean absolutely nothing and founded in little more than gut feelings and countless hours of football consumed. First, the CSB Unfounded Bulldog Results. 10-2
UL-Lafayette vs. UGA (Sep. 4): UGA 49, UL-L 7.
Noon kickoffs suck. And this one is no exception. Frat Bros will undoubtedly show up midway through the first quarter demanding the seats their pledges were unable to keep. Several girls will grow sick with heat exhaustion and Brett will be way distracted chatting up sorority girls in their sundresses. Oh, and also, theres a football game. We’re anxious to see Grantham’s Fury unleashed, although we doubt the full intricacies of the 3-4 will emerge. The biggest thing here is to get out of this game without any serious injuries (which means Trinton Sturdivant is not allowed on the field).
UGA at South Carolina (Sep. 11, which isn’t the least bit forboding): UGA 17, USC 15
Annually the most nerve-racking game for CSB, the game in Columbia will be the biggest measuring stick for the season. We’re glad we won’t be in attendance because a) air conditioning > 110 degree weather and b) easy access to blood pressure medicine we will surely need. If Bobo uses King and Ealey effectively, Green, Charles, and White should make enough plays to help take the pressure off of Aaron Murray.
Bonus Prediction: Darth Visor will run 3 basic plays over and over. The Bubble Screen, the End Around, and the Draw. Someone notify Todd Grantham to turn up the ass kickings.
Arkansas vs. UGA (Sep. 18): UGA 38, ARK 34
Do you like video games? Because that’s what this one could end up as. Georgia had a bajillion turnovers in this game last year while the Ginger Ninja threw for 5 touchdowns. And we still won. Hang on to the ball and stop Ryan Mallet a few times and Georgia has this one. Secondary breakdowns will make for a long afternoon.
Also, did we mention how much we HATE noon kickoffs?
UGA at Mi-crookedletter-i State (Sep. 25): UGA 27, MSU 18
Those other, inferior bulldogs, are better than you think. Dan Mullen has invigorated this team and at home this is no game to scoff at. It will take disciplined football to come out of Starkville alive. The last time Georgia visited, DJ Shockley and Leonard Pope carried the team on their shoulders. We don’t have Shock, but we do have a phenomenal running game and two TEs just as capable as Pope.
UGA at Colorado (Oct. 2): UGA 24, CU 13
The big story last year was how the SEC never travels to other conferences. Georgia has been working against that trend in scheduling (looking at you Florida. Sack up). In our return trip we face a Dan Hawkins team for the 3rd time. I sincerely hope this one is more like the Boise game. No team should ever rely on Ginger Magic to squeak out a win.
Bonus Prediction: Walsh boots a 60 yard FG. He has the leg, and with the thin air, don’t be surprised if Richt lets him try it at some point. Meanwhile, Butler may just kick it out of the stadium. Look for him to punt, enjoy a nice tall glass of purple drink, run 3 70 yrd sprints and still get into coverage before the ball returns to earth.
Tennessee vs. UGA (Oct. 9): UGA 21, UT 18
Running up the score is never cool. But there is no mercy for anything Orange. Anything less that Half a Hundred for the Dawgs will be utter disappointment and the team really needs a big one to restore order.
Vanderbilt vs. UGA (Oct. 16): UGA 38, Vandy 10
UGA at Kentucky (Oct. 23): UGA 20, UK 12
Oct 23 is Homecoming week in Lexington. You read that correctly. Georgia is the Homecoming Opponent for Kentucky. This is all the information you should need to be totally pissed about this game.
UGA vs. Florida (Oct. 30): Florida 30, UGA 20
If the Dawgs play in Red Hats, Silver Britches, and Red Jerseys….consider it a win.
Idaho State vs. UGA (Nov. 6): Will, in fact, Kickoff
We’re not really going to bother. Come for the tailgate, stay for the scrimmage.
UGA at Auburn (Nov. 13): Auburn 23, UGA 17
Is Auburn markedly better than Georgia? No. Is Gene Chizik the genius people on the Plains make him out to be? Definitely No. But Georgia has won 4 straight in this one. And for that reason alone, we give this one to the TigerPlainsgles.
Georgia Tech vs. UGA (Nov. 27): UGA 34, GT 28
We Run This State.
Next week, CSB will bring you 10 Totally Unfounded Predictions for College Football.
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Notes: 1 / 1 year ago
Mad Men Thoughts: “The Good News”
Brett’s Thoughts: The thing I liked best about this week’s episode, no Betty/Henry drama (Hate those two). The thing I liked least about this week’s episode, no Roger Sterling.
But you know who was in this episode? Lane Pryce. The world of SCDP is becoming interesting and four seasons in, the audience is still peeling away layers and learning more about the characters. Don went on another one of his west coast walk-abouts. This time with drugs! And he once again strikes out with the ladies. This time with ones half his age!
Matt’s Thoughts: It’s hard whether to think Don was totally awesome or horribly depressingly lame in this episode. On the one hand, he had an epic, epic night out with Lane. (Coincidentally, if you had Pryce in the Don Draper Buys a Coworker a Whore Office Pool, you made out like a bandit last night). Don and Lane’s escapades were by far the highlight of the season for me thus far. It was a joy to watch it unfold, from Don drunkenly perusing the showtimes to Lane shouting Japanese in the theater to the evening’s crowning achievement, the Big Texas Belt Buckle. And if that hasn’t jumped to the top of your Halloween list, you aren’t doing it right.
But Don is continuing his downward spiral from King Badass of the Badass Lineage to Mr. I Can’t Even Get Into the Pants of a Berkely Co-Ed in 1964 I Mean Come On! With the imminent loss of Anna from The Cancer, Don is now completely alone. Maybe that’s what made him seek out Lane’s companionship and bribe him with movies and steaks and booze and hookers. In fact, forget the movies and steaks. Don needed to feel some sort of camaraderie, even if it was with The Anti-Don.
The Daniel Faraday Memorial Crazy Theory of the Week: In other goings on, Joan’s husband continues to be one big bag of industrial strength derp. So, assuming he steps on a land mine or is fragged within thirty seconds of landing in ‘Nam, who are the odds on favorites to win the Shoulder to Bang On lottery with the Widow Holloway?
- Roger Sterling- 4:6. Just too obvious. Both are unhappy in their marriages, and this pairing could end up being an actual relationship before all is said and done.
- Don Draper- 5:1. Don and Joan seem immune to each other’s charms, but devastating news from the battle front that leaves Joan just as lost and alone as Don could form the ultimate dream team sexual icon coupling of the 2010’s.
- Lane Pryce- 20:1. Clearly a longshot, but a spark may form from their mutual love of firing people, as displayed this week.
- Peggy Olson- 1000:1. Look, it’s The Sixties, Peggy loves experimenting, and dammit, if you’re going to take that plunge, why not take it with Big Red?
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Notes: 1 / 1 year ago
Bobby Cox will pop you in the mouth for asking about RISP
And don’t even think of bringing up Troy Glaus’ numbers since the beginning of July. Pam did that once. But only once.
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Notes: 2 / 1 year ago
With a combined 10 years in the Classic City, CSB would like to thank the Princeton Review for recognizing our hard work and dedication into making our beloved University the best in the country…..at having more fun than you.
This is not a responsibility we take lightly. And we welcome all Bros and Bro-ettes to join us in this arduous task. Although we do think there may have been some slight error in calculation, as our time with books does not preclude us from time with beer. Sometimes, the two pair quite nicely.
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1 year ago
Harmony is such a bitch.
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1 year agoThis is what happens when Frank Wren reads Cool Story Bros
